i went out and it was hot and i got really tired!

there were shouty noises in the distance, maybe there’s a carnival today.

i wanted 500ml of coca cola, but it was £1.31 for that and £2 for 3,500ml of cola so i bought a lot of cola

on the way back a neighbour said hello and it was scary

also i forgot to shave before leaving the house

i am tired now 😦



i’m sorry if i ever come across as attention-seeky.
but having friends is the only thing that’s ever gone right in my life.
i spend most of my time trying to talk to people because that’s all i can do

about a year ago, my core friends stopped visiting our teamspeak daily, leaving me there alone 99% of the time. eventually, the server crashed and i stopped bothering with teamspeak a few months ago.

i’ve been getting very lonely since then. i miss playing games with my friends. i loved playing minecraft, tf2, synergy, gmod – all the games where i could be with my friends. it’s just not the same on my own.

i’ve been anticipating the next terraria update for months, not because of the update itself, but because it’s a chance to play a game i like with my friends again.

i don’t want to depress people with the details of my life. i appreciate the sympathy, but to be honest all i want is the company. i hope i have more chances to play games with you guys in the future. please keep in touch ❤


I’m still alive!

Hey, guys. I’m not feeling too good.

If you’ve talked to me much in the last few months, you’ve probably heard me complain about my medication. For those who haven’t, here’s the story.

About eight months ago, the supplier of my medication stopped producing. Since they were the only suppliers of this antidepressant, I was forced to switch to another medication, and coincidently, another doctor. Within a week, I was starting to feel side effects. I became fatigued, hungry and sleepy pretty much all the time. I told my new doctor, and he suggested it was probably withdrawal.

Unfortunately, the side effects did not go away after a few weeks. I also noted that the new antidepressant was not as effective as the old one, and had little-to-no effect on my OCD and anxiety. I complained several times to my mother and my support worker (who visits once a week), but unfortunately was not able to see my doctor again until my next review appointment, three months later.

After those three months had passed, I was still suffering from the side effects. I complained to my doctor, but he did not change my medication. I think he said that there was no other medication to change to, which I immediately thought was complete bollocks; there’s no way there’s only two antidepressants in existence. Nothing came of this appointment, and I was forced to wait another two months.

Five months later, the side effects and my OCD and anxiety are still a problem. My doctor suggested that it might be my secondary medication I’ve been taking – you know, the one I’ve had for over a year before I started having problems? Reluctantly, I agreed to try cutting down on it to see if that helped. Unfortunately, it did not. After a couple of weeks, I went back to my usual dose of secondary medication. I repeatedly asked to see my doctor again, but again, I was unable to see him until my next review.

Almost a month ago, I went to see my doctor. Or rather, my mother went because I was not able. She told him how the extra problems had been driving me into deeper depression, effectively making the medication only a detriment and not at all helpful. And would you believe it, my previous medication is suddenly back on the market! Problem solved…? Not quite. I began taking a small dose of the previous medication along with the ineffective one and my secondary one. I would’ve questioned why I would still be taking any of the ineffective medication at all, but as I said, I was not there.

Since then, I have been taking a lesser dose of both antidepressants. This does not seem at all effective, and I have tried urging my support worker to get my doctor to schedule another appointment. I got a letter a few weeks ago about my next review date – in october. That was NOT acceptable, and I felt very upset about it.

For those of you who had been wondering where I had gone, my OCD had gotten a lot worse, to the point where it had become frustrating to do anything, even using my computer. I stopped doing my daily things, like visiting all my forums and other bookmarks. Instead, I just played video games to distract me and slept.

Last week, my mother wrote a letter to my support worker (who visits while my mother is at work) explaining how much worse I’ve gotten in the last few months, which I gave to her. She took the letter back with her, to show it to my doctor. Today, my support worker texted me to say that she would not be visiting today – she would visit tomorrow instead, with my new prescription. Success!

Hopefully I will be feeling better soon. Thank you to everyone who has been sympathetic towards me. I think I have enough sympathy for now, so don’t worry about me.

Lots of hugs! ❤
— Bonabutt c:




I was told that Beyond The Sleep, a game i backed on kickstarter, was having problems sending me their game with humble bundle. They suggested that i use their key resender thingy. So i did – but the email not only contained the game’s key, but all the keys for everything i’ve bought through humble. While looking at the list, something caught my attention. Garry’s Mod. I’ve had Garry’s Mod for longer than i can i remember, it was the main reason i got steam. Why would i buy it again? But then i noticed – it said (Gift) afterwards. Did i buy it as a gift for someone? I don’t remember that…

Nope, someone sent me garry’s mod as a gift and i never got the email for it! Checking the rest of the list, i also found SS3:BFE and OMD2 with the (Gift) tag! Guess what: I already have those games too! What a waste! xD
So there’s no mention of who sent these gifts nor when. Was it any of you? If so, thank you for the thought! ^u^


New commission!

New commission!


and a related story c:

“Hi my name is Bonabopn and this is my fox. His name is Daniel and he likes hugs and dancing and hats.”
“Mr Bopn, this is a preschool; we only teach children here.” replied the teacher.
“That’s what she said!”
“Sir, i’m gonna have to ask you to leave.”
“NO U!”
“Please leave or i’ll have to call the police.” threatened the teacher.
“Ah, but i AM the police!” said Bonabopn, removing his hat to reveal a smaller policeman’s helmet underneath.
The teacher turned to a nearby teaching assistant and whispered “Cheryl? Call the police.”, to which Cheryl nodded and left the room.
“It’s okay Ma’am,” said Bonabopn, gesturing to a confused toddler donning plastic handcuffs. “I’ve apprehended the suspect.”
Turning to the child, Bonabopn added “You are under arrest for fraud. You do not have to say anything, but anything you do say will be used as blackmail against you!”
The toddlers stare bemusedly at Bonabopn. A few of them do, anyway. Most have crowded around the fox, who is obviously enjoying the attention.
A knock comes from the door. The teacher opens it to greet two policemen. “That was fast.” she remarked. “This Jakkai is refusing to leave.”
“I can’t leave!” retorted the Jakkai. “I’m allergic to trees!”
“Please leave the premises,” warned one of the policeman, “Or i’ll have to arrest you.”
“Not if i arrest you first!” Bonabopn answered back, pointing aggressively at him.
The two policemen looked at each other, before one turned to him and said “Sir, i’m arresting you for tresspassing and impersonating a police officer. You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence.”
“Fite me, scrub!” the jakkai retaliated, hurling a plastic tomato at him, which bounces harmless off his head.
The policeman twisted Bonabopn’s arm behind his back and began to march him out of the room.
“You can’t do this!” Bonabopn shouted. “I’m an endangered species!” he said, Daniel rushing out of the room to accompany him.
“I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!” Bonabopn’s voice echoed down the corridor as the teacher shut the door behind them.

A knock comes from the door again.
“Hello, i’m here following a 999 call from this location. May i come in?” asked one of the police officers at the door, showing his badge.
“It’s okay,” said the teacher, “Your colleague was here a few minutes ago, he arrested the man and took him away.”
The policeman narrowed his eyes. “Are you sure? I did not hear of this over the radio…”
The teacher’s gaze wandered, coming to rest on the plastic tomato that lay on the floor. A closer look revealed the letters “LOL NOOB” written on it’s side in block capitals.


Music Video Idea for End Love

I thought of a nice idea for a music video for this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2fpgpanZAw c:
It is about a guy and his girlfriend. They go to a certain coffee shop really often, and have coffee in those disposable cups. You can’t hear, but you see the guy asking her for her empty cup. He does this often, and the video switches between scenes of them drinking coffee and being happy and scenes of the guy pasting cut-up coffee cups to the wall in order to make a mural. He finishes the mural in time for her birthday, but you don’t get to see it finished until she does. The mural is a portrait of her face and it’s real pretty and it says “Happy Birthday” under it and she is real impressed. happy ending yay c: